tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965076219235086304.post3962702180057236011..comments2024-02-24T00:41:37.836-08:00Comments on The Buddha Diaries: MR. ELLIS: SECOND THOUGHTSPeter Clothierhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11525159413387378704noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965076219235086304.post-10659425335781736652010-07-27T15:32:30.856-07:002010-07-27T15:32:30.856-07:00Two brave and compassionate writings ....Reconcili...Two brave and compassionate writings ....Reconciliation between victim and perpertrator of the abuse must be the hardest of all roads to take, and what a leading example Mandela gave the world. Here in Spain there is a big move in that direction with a programme to mediate in individual cases,where there is a willingness on both sides on the one hand to express regret and sorrow and the other to forgive. This is partuclarly aimed at families of those victims of the separatist Basque terrorists who are imprisoned and are up for release.Michaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10058693616240831085noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965076219235086304.post-49845709137110285372010-07-26T16:04:47.655-07:002010-07-26T16:04:47.655-07:00Peter, I'm glad my comment sparked some dialog...Peter, I'm glad my comment sparked some dialogue both internal and external. I don't mind at all that what I wrote was a catalyst. It was interesting to go back and re-read the comment and see how blunt and brief it was. I think I was being a bit flippant about suffering. But I am quite serious about not harboring any feelings... including compassion.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965076219235086304.post-69284812272920452542010-07-26T15:30:23.481-07:002010-07-26T15:30:23.481-07:00Thanks for the clarification and further discussio...Thanks for the clarification and further discussion, Paul. I respect your insights whenever they appear.<br /><br />And thanks, too, mandt. I know we have areas of disagreement, and it's always good to know when I've said something that finds resonance with you.<br /><br />Robin, I wrote a separate email to you. I fear I did not make it clear enough that the "trouble" I mention is in my head, and I did not mean to attribute it to you! Your comment in response to the original "Mr. Ellis" post provoked my interior debate, and allowed me to pursue my own thinking a bit further here. I honor the wisdom that you make so evident in your blog.Peter Clothierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11525159413387378704noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965076219235086304.post-84874357130477771962010-07-26T14:22:52.871-07:002010-07-26T14:22:52.871-07:00I think the comment I left last week made it seem ...I think the comment I left last week made it seem that I have been consumed for the past 40 years with desire for my attacker's suffering. I really have not. Forty years have passed, and not on any one of those days has compassion for him risen in me. I guess that's not the same as wishing him to suffer. <br /><br />To be perfectly honest, I rarely think of the man who attacked me, and I have moved on physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I do not find compassion nor forgiveness in my heart for him. I find nothing. A fire of contempt does not smolder there, but neither does the light of enlightenment. <br /><br />I do not think the world serves me by being the instrument of my lessons. Some people walk the planet hardened and brutal. If my path crosses with theirs, I may pay with my body, but if I'm lucky I won't pay with my essential being. I owe the brutal ones nothing. Their awakenings are their own. I hate to think my compassion is a trick to keep the duality of the universe intact (or something like!).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965076219235086304.post-30373378924221623032010-07-26T11:04:30.929-07:002010-07-26T11:04:30.929-07:00"I worry that the words might seem self-right..."I worry that the words might seem self-righteous or complacent. " Not at all Peter.This essential dilemma is an ongoing matrix of being human and constantly renews our 'practice' of compassion----especially when/and on those occasions when we cannot forgive or forget. One of the 'blessings' of practice is that eventually the 'energy' leaves our attachment to wounds and we move on. Well done Peter---an excellent discussion.mandthttp://adgitadiaries.blog-city.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3965076219235086304.post-55470872284215137212010-07-26T09:48:43.586-07:002010-07-26T09:48:43.586-07:00A very provocative topic, Peter, with lots of aven...A very provocative topic, Peter, with lots of avenues to explore. But here's what comes to mind at the moment. From a Buddhist point of view compassion begins with the acknowledgment of one's own suffering. When I fully understand my own suffering I know that this dukkha is not unique to me. To believe that it is, is a conceit. <br /><br />Knowing my own suffering - and my wish for it to be acknowledged and understood by others (right?) - I can make an effort to know and understand the suffering of others. This is compassion. <br /><br />The idea that Person A <i>deserves</i> my compassion and Person B does not is another matter altogether. Once I go down that path, I enter into "a thicket of views." Among other things, it means that someone else (many individuals, that is) gets to have an opinion about what I deserve. I'd rather they have compassion for me rather than judgment and the desire that I "get what I deserve."Paulhttp://paulgerhards.com/blog_thisisthatisnoreply@blogger.com