Wednesday, January 28, 2015


It's humbling to be reduced to a quivering, achy mockery of what was once a human being, but this is what the flu can do.  I had my flu shot months ago, but it seems that just this year the medical community bet on the wrong strain and what started out as a innocent-seeming sore throat blossomed into what I can only assume to be the flu.  It involves the familiar wooziness in the head and the familiar aches and pains--which don't get easier with age.

This morning, bleary after a fitful, often interrupted sleep, I thought this would be an ideal time to put my meditation practice to the test.  I've been doing it for years, I told myself, in part in order to be ready for the sickness and pain I am likely to encounter as I age.  Let's see how it works when I'm feeling terrible.

It pains me to report that it didn't work too well.  I lit my candle, made myself as comfortable as possible in the circumstance, and set my iPhone "Insight Timer" app for a half hour.  With my head awhirl with fatigue and possibly, I thought, fever, I soon found that its inclination to go to sleep was a lot more powerful than its intention to get calm and focussed.  Pain is one thing.  I can manage to sit through some of that.  The flu is something else...

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