OPPRESSION

It's a line in my daily metta goodwill practice: "May I be free from oppression." I recite it every time I sit down for a meditation session. And just recently it has been drawing my attention each time that I repeat it: "May I be free from oppression."

I can get past the line that comes before it: "May I be free from animosity." It's not easy, because there's a good deal of blame in my heart for those responsible for out current predicament. My conclusion from what the medical and public health experts says is that their action, or inaction, has cost many thousands of lives. Even today, with the example of countless other countries that have managed to stem or slow the spread of the disease, ours stands almost alone in its stubborn refusal to take those strong actions that have proven effective elsewhere. So, yes, I have anger about that in my heart, and it's hard to get past the animosity towards those responsible. But I can allow myself acknowledge it and, with such goodwill as I'm able to find, to let it go.

I find oppression to be harder, in part I think because I feel so powerless to stand up to and reject it. The evidence is everywhere, We have a government whose reins are now held irrefutably in the hands of a man who seems able to impose his will on everyone he has placed in a position of authority. And it's not goodwill, as I see it. It's ill will. There is a powerful malignancy that grips the actions of those who exercise control over our lives. The single example of the postal service may suffice: we can no longer rely on the timely delivery of such vital things as medications. The unreliability of this service is the direct result of oppressive action from the leadership. I am necessarily affected by it, and have no means to, as I say, stand up and reject it. No matter how often I repeat the wish, I am unable to free myself from this particular act of oppression.

So because it is beyond my personal ability to counter the oppression, the line rings hollow in my head when I repeat it. It exists. There is ample evidence of its existence, and of its affect on my daily life. To wish it away feels like an effort to deny its reality, and I have always experienced my meditation practice as practical and real. "May I not allow myself to respond to oppression," in this circumstance, is closer to the mark And perhaps that distinction is too fine to be meaningful. Still, it bothers me. It provides me with a mental hitch each time that I repeat it--a hitch I have to work hard not to cling to. I am not free from oppression. But... may I be.