DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR

I have been made Prime Minister of England. I say "made" because I do not recall having been elected. There is to be a ceremony--I suppose a kind of swearing in. The leaders of the opposition are present (one of them is a dead ringer for Newt Gingrich) and it is clear they are plotting to expose me for the unqualified fraud I know myself to be. But I must keep up appearances.

As a part of the ceremony, I am scheduled to make a speech. I have nothing prepared, and have no idea what to say. Knowing nothing about affairs of state, I am hoping that something very personal will do. I wonder about mentioning that fact that I am the son of an Anglican minister. I remember, too, that I have married into the Kennedy family and that it might be a good idea to introduce my wife. I search for her amongst my supporters, but I realize now to my dismay that I can't even remember her name, nor what she looks like.

There is a kind of grande dame presiding. She is to introduce me to the gathering. Wanting to impress her, I tell her that I knew the Duke of Bedford (a ridiculous lie); did she happen to know him, too? I tell her I recall having danced with the Duchess (another lie). 

Fortunately for everyone concerned, I wake from my dream before being sworn in for office.